And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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