Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
