So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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