I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
