Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
