ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
