end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
