Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will be naked everywhere
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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