Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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