fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
