i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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