just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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