I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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