Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize