just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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