is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
