Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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