I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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