I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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