Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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