just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
