I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
