Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
