He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
