bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
