i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
