It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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