some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
