so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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