You're so nebulous sometimes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
