Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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