What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
