I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
