is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
