Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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