Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
