somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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