every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
