You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
