brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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