You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
