I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
