1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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