I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
