..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
