I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
