Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
