did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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