11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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