Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
