I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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