Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?