Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

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(803): Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/zuya

Replies (29) Good night (8378) Bad night (871)
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(614): View more from Ohio

What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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(614): What tipped you off? The sombrero? http://tfl.nu/yqu3

Replies (11) Good night (4684) Bad night (594)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?

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(504): she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud? http://tfl.nu/6q2n

Replies (30) Good night (9038) Bad night (1162)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

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(763): Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/r7p2

Replies (7) Good night (5572) Bad night (1094)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."

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(412): Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers." http://tfl.nu/fu3x

Replies (11) Good night (995) Bad night (3050)
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(519): View more from Ontario

your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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(519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100

Replies (3) Good night (2868) Bad night (1202)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.

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(401): Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself. http://tfl.nu/agcx

Replies (3) Good night (2187) Bad night (793)
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(561): View more from Florida

I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined

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(561): I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined http://tfl.nu/31mt

Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (449)
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(718): View more from New York

Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.

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(718): Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up. http://tfl.nu/gzqi

Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (419)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF

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(250): some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF http://tfl.nu/zk16

Replies (6) Good night (1970) Bad night (449)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.

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(337): Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday. http://tfl.nu/gphh

Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (432)
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(805): View more from California

Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.

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(805): Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered. http://tfl.nu/wect

Replies (8) Good night (1880) Bad night (385)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.

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(252): i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass. http://tfl.nu/8dgj

Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (728)
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(315): View more from New York

I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online

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(315): I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online http://tfl.nu/2eyx

Replies (1) Good night (229) Bad night (626)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.

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(+44): Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms. http://tfl.nu/2jzl

Replies (7) Good night (531) Bad night (164)

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