Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
