Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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(423): View more from Tennessee

it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
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(630): View more from Illinois

Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.

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(913): View more from Kansas

When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.

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(520): View more from Arizona

remember, YOU ARE A WINNER

(410): View more from Maryland

my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.

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(226): View more from Ontario

You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"

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(607): View more from New York

Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.

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