Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  What is a male extremity?

  (813): View more from Florida

  i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

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  (813): I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters (1-813): What is a male extremity? (813): i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex http://tfl.nu/l9w1
  Replies (35) Good night (902) Bad night (4816)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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  (414): You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning. http://tfl.nu/dt9p
  Replies (9) Good night (5298) Bad night (655)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

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  (708): having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling http://tfl.nu/2wgp
  Replies (8) Good night (3231) Bad night (1265)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

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  (404): my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles. http://tfl.nu/wcsn
  Replies (9) Good night (3612) Bad night (1171)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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  (519): I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick http://tfl.nu/bx5i
  Replies (18) Good night (2011) Bad night (5671)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going

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  (519): I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going http://tfl.nu/hix8
  Replies (4) Good night (2955) Bad night (1264)
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  (619): View more from California

  Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.

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  (619): Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating. http://tfl.nu/bhg3
  Replies (10) Good night (1329) Bad night (2984)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?

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  (425): Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina? http://tfl.nu/gdbr
  Replies (20) Good night (4027) Bad night (1055)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.

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  (914): I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem. http://tfl.nu/p4yj
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (746)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.

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  (216): Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway. http://tfl.nu/lxny
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (603)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.

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  (417): Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week. http://tfl.nu/s5do
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (925)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  I thought I could.

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  (623): You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!' (1-623): I thought I could. http://tfl.nu/l4oh
  Replies (4) Good night (3269) Bad night (797)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari

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  (205): I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari http://tfl.nu/g3b8
  Replies (3) Good night (1092) Bad night (551)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all

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  (501): The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all http://tfl.nu/rl4u
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (306)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand

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  (802): My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand http://tfl.nu/akgx
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (323)

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