bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
