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• (226): View more from Ontario

  forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

  (407): View more from Florida

  given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

  (352): View more from Florida

  i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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• (585): View more from New York

  She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.

  (585): View more from New York

  Aren't divorce parties fun?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You and I have very different definitions of fun.

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• (310): View more from California

  YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

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• (845): View more from New York

  Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was

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• (310): View more from California

  What's the address?

  (626): View more from California

  Too drunk. Just google it.

  (310): View more from California

  IT'S YOUR HOUSE

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• (916): View more from California

  Yep. How's your hangover?

  (1-916): View more from California

  It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.

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• (760): View more from California

  I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie

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