he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
