you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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