If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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