There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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