so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize