whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize