woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize