I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
well you can't waste a boner
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
