it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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