I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
