What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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