I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize