you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
