You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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