Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My ass is underappreciated
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize