how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
