So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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