If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
