I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
